Welcome to my blog! On occasion, I will publish short stories, essays, and other things right here on this site! If you would like to be notified of new postings, click the follow by email link on the right of the page!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Tips and Tricks: How to Make Friends

Tips and Tricks: How to Make Friends

Below are some suggestions you can use to make friends. Good luck!


People say laugh with people not at people. Those people are wrong. If you laugh at people you damage their self esteem. People with damaged self esteem are less discerning about the types of friends they have.
If you don't know what to say make something up. Make it historical, that way you sound smart. Did you know General Sherman was addicted to Laudanum? Of course you did, because you just made that up! Man, you are smart - and thus likeable.
When passing people in hallways at work, tip a pretend hat and say ‘M’lord or ‘M’lady’ (depending on the gender of the person you pass). This is fun, plus who doesn’t want to friends with the cool medieval person in the office?
People are usually friends with people that have similar interests. What do most people like? A lot of people like sex, or at least the idea of sex. When you meet people, you should always say "my name is (insert name) and I like sex." You are SURE to make friends this way.
Friends often listen to the other person when they have problems. You are probably going to have to sit there and listen to these people’s problems in order to maintain their friendship. Good luck with that. While the person is talking, try and think of something more interesting like new flavors of ice cream, Full House episodes, or blog post ideas.

That’s it! Now go makes some friends!


  1. This one is funny... I wish i had more hands so i could give this writing 4 thumbs up

  2. or a super funny friends episode